Monthly Archives: April 2011

Robin’s Trip To Peru (Ayahuasca)

Howard took a call from a guy who said Robin is wrong about this Ayahuasca thing not being a Psychadellic thing. Robin said that it’s not meant to be used for just Psychadellic. The caller said that it’s the most potent Psychadellic on the planet. Howard said this is a way of taking drugs for people who don’t take drugs.

Robin said that she thought that this could help her out with her depression. Robin said she’s not depressed now. The caller said that the active ingredient is DMT which can be taken out of many different plants. Robin said she’s drinking the tea and not taking the drug. Howard said the caller was boring the shit out of him so he had to hang up. He said he was droning on about the DMT.

Howard said Robin does seem to be very happy. Howard asked if she knew that he’d talk her out of it if she told him ahead of time. Robin said she did. Howard said she once went to a witches coven and that’s the kind of wacky stuff she does. Robin said she likes to experiment with things like that. Howard said if it worked then they wouldn’t be doing it in a broken down hut. Robin said it was kind of sad. She said the guy, who calls himself Master, was a sweetheart. She said he’s a master and he’s revered there. Howard asked if she got caught up in his philosophy. She said she doesn’t speak the language so she doesn’t know what his philosophy is. She had an interpreter telling her what he was saying.

Robin said she was the only one there. She said that it’s usually a group that goes. She said they have retreats all over Peru. Robin said there’s a guy who created this retreat because this Ayahuasca thing cured him.

Robin said she was taken out to this place where she had 5 mattresses on the floor. Howard asked why they didn’t put her in a nice room. Robin said they don’t have a nice room. You live like the natives. They had chickens in the yard and things like that. Howard asked if she thought it might be dangerous. Robin said she knew it was going to be rustic. She said she didn’t know where she was going.

Howard said it looks like it was a real shithole from what he saw. Robin said she was brought to her room and they had a shamen there to wanted to read cocoa leaves for her. She was just following what the tradition was. The guy told her that she was healthy and she’d live a long life. Howard said ”Yeah, like he knows…”

Robin said she wasn’t allowed to eat all day. She said she had to stay silent too. Robin said you have to be only on water. Robin said she was told it was time for her Ayahuasca ceremony and she had to wear a lot of clothes. She said you get cold when you take it. Howard asked her what she’s doing. Robin said they have them brew this stuff on the full moon. She said they have it in a big plastic jug. Robin said they gave her some cocoa leaves to chew. She said she did that and he started talking about the medicine and it’s so reverent. She said that he was telling her it was for her spiritual revolution and things like that.

Howard said if a guy there in America did that to her in a bar she wouldn’t do it. Robin said that’s true. She said that they had some paint buckets in the room and the Master told her she was going to get sick. She said he said that was there for her to vomit in. Howard said he would have left right then. Robin said she never vomits and she figured it wouldn’t happen to her. She was told that she would get cold or hot and sweat. All of this is normal for this Ayahuasca thing.

Robin said Master prayed and read the cocoa leaves and then told her it was time to take ”la medicina.” Robin said he tried to open this stuff and it started foaming. She said it was an ugly brown liquid. Howard saw a picture of it and asked if she drank it. Robin said that this stuff was foaming like crazy and he started laughing. She said that he stopped the foaming and gave her a Dixie cup full of it. She said that he told her to drink it down really quick. She said it was the worst tasting stuff you can imagine. Robin said she gulped it down. Robin said they sit and watch you as it takes effect.

Robin said 30 minutes goes by and she felt a little queasy. She said that they said they’d give her more if she didn’t feel anything. Robin said she drank some more of it and 10 minutes later she was sick as a dog and she started throwing up so violently that she was also farting. Howard said she’s nuts. Robin said she was embarrassed from the farting. She said it just kept going and going.

Robin said you get this stuff out of you and you lay down and start having visions. Robin said that she started to see all of the misery of the world. She said she cried for about 4 hours non-stop. She said she was weeping. Howard asked how she saw the misery of the world. Robin said you see all of the pain of your own life and think about other people’s pain and see the pain of the entire world. She said she was just weeping and weeping. Robin said Master fell asleep. She said she could hear him snoring.

Howard took a call from a guy who told Robin she has to be the most gullible person on the planet. Howard said he would have been miserable. the caller said he loves that she turns her nose at French fries but she’ll drink that shit.

Robin said she did it the second night and she had to grab a bucket and go to the bathroom. She was going at both ends at the same time. Robin said she was throwing up in a bucket and going to the bathroom. She was starting to hallucinate while she had the illness. Robin said she wasn’t sure if she should close her eyes or keep them open. She said she was on a trip that night and she doesn’t even know what to say about that. She said it was very colorful and it was weird. Howard said it sounds like peyote. Robin said it is kind of like what American Indians do.

Robin said they were telling her that she should be fighting for her life in this. Robin said they give you a day break and then she was going to have to take the Ayahuasca again. She said she had to stop eating for a day. She said that they told her not to fool around and fight for this. She said she did it again and had nothing happening for like 2 or 3 hours. Robin said that she did that for an hour or two and got past the colors and had an incredible conversation with herself. She said she learned that nothing matters. She said she learned that life is great except for all that sucks. She said all of the crap they put on themselves is what sucks. Robin said she got violently sick again after that.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that she took peyote. He said it’s plain and simple. Another caller said he could get her to throw up for 4 days in a row if she wants to fly down to Atlanta. Howard said he had to take a break and digest what she just said. Howard asked Fred what he thinks. Fred said she won’t drink milk but she’ll take that shit. He said it makes no sense.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that her story is fascinating and it’s something that he supports. Howard said she learned that society is no good. That’s it. Robin said that she learned that the things we do are just for other people. She said we don’t have to do these things. Howard told Robin not to base her life on this. He said it’s nonsense. Robin said she thought a lot about Howard and it’s all of this desire to have everyone approving of you. She said it’s ridiculous. That’s what makes life hard.

Howard Stern live show schedule to three days a week every other week

Howard Stern says starting May 2nd, the Howard Stern Show is reducing its live show schedule to three days a week every other week.

When Stern announced his new five year contract with Sirius XM, he warned fans that it would come with a pared back schedule. While the terms of Stern’s new contract are unknown, analysts analysts estimate world’s highest paid radio personality is taking in about $20 million a year less than he earned in his original 2006 contract with Sirius XM.

Thursday, he tried to pre-empt criticisms from fans about his reduced hours:

“I don’t want to hear any nonsense about it because the option was either leave or work a few less days and I thought it would be better to stay on the air. Okay? Look, I know, listen, everyone would rather have the show every day five days a week. I figured it was better if we showed up three days a week, sometimes four days a week or whatever, be here for you, touch base and do a good show.”

The Howard Stern Show will run Monday through Wednesday the week of May 2nd and then back to Monday through Thursday on the week of May 9th.

Beth Ostrosky Stern to host Gossip Cop tv show

As TV Guide Network continues its transition to a full-fledged programming channel, the cabler announced a half-dozen new series and minis currently in development.

Included in the mix is “Gossip Cop,” based on the popular website, which investigates a handful of the most intriguing celebrity stories of the week. Exec produced by Michael Hirschorn, Dan Abrams and site creator Michael Lewittes, show will try to uncover the truth — if any exists — on popular celebrity news items.

“And I’m so excited to have Beth Ostrosky Stern as our host. In addition to being great on TV, Beth knows first-hand what it feels like to be the subject of inaccurate rumors, which brings a personal passion to the show that will really connect with viewers.” -Michael Lewittes

Gilbert Gottfried banned from the Stern Show?

Wheels said he was almost crying laughing yesterday when Gilbert Gottfried was on the show. Howard said he loves that Groucho impression he does. Howard said he has a weird thing going on with Gilbert. He said when the guests leave the cameras follow them. Last time Gilbert was there he started spitting on the cupcakes they eat there. Howard said it was really disgusting and the staff looks forward to eating them. He said it was gross and not that funny. He said this time he left and there were no cupcakes. He just started spitting everywhere. He said he must really be angry with him on some level. He said it’s like spitting on him and very disrespectful. He said he didn’t spit on The View.

Gary said he saw what was going on and the spit was really gross. He said the spit had color in it. He said Tim was livid about it. They had to call a special cleaning crew to come in and clean it up. Howard said that’s horse shit. He said a woman had to come in and clean it up with special gloves. He said you have to feel some compassion for those people. He said it just wasn’t cool of him to do that.

Robin Quivers Peru Trip

Robin Quivers spent last week’s Howard Stern Show vacation on an Ayahuasca psychedelic drug trip in Peru and Howard TV has posted exclusive footage of her journey.

“I can’t tell you how many people I’ve shown this to and already they’re like: ‘What’s going on with Robin?'” Stern told Quivers on air Tuesday. “Like really worried about you and think you’re seriously ill… People said to me I should do something for Artie. What should I do for you?”

Charred Walls of the Damned update

Richard Christy of The Howard Stern Show, Iced Earth, and Death has issued a new update on his band Charred Walls of the Damned.

The group entered Criteria Recording Studios in Miami late last year with producer Mark Lewis and have been working on the disc ever since, as time between wedding planning and the show permits.

The band’s sophomore album will be in stores “hopefully” in September.

“There’s some exciting news concerning Charred Walls of the Damned — we’re finishing up bass and vocals in the next two weeks for our second album and we will be mixing the album in May,” Christy says.

“The album is going to be amazing and I can’t even contain my excitement about it! I’m so pumped for everyone to hear it; it will definitely exceed everyone’s expectations!!”

Courteney Cox and David Arquette

Robin said she can’t believe this. Courteney Cox walked in. Howard said he loves her more than David. Courteney said hi to David. Howard said he’s so confused by them. He said he loves them as a couple. He said he feels that she’s making love to her co-stars. Howard said that maybe she’s being smart by not saying anything. He said that she looks really hot today.
Howard asked Courteney why she rejected David at Disney World. She said that it was in the morning so it was a bad time. She said that he could never put his arms around her without getting a boner. It didn’t matter what it was, he’d get a boner. Howard said that David needs to get in touch with what she needs. He said that he can’t just put his arm around her and get a boner and think he can have sex.

David said that she was exaggerating about that. Howard said he knows what she means. Howard said he’s always boned up with Beth. He said he has to keep it under control so he seems more interested in her. He has to hear what she’s saying. Howard said maybe he needs to whack off before he sees her. David asked if he could do it right now.

Davis said he thinks that they know it’s over and they really have to just figure out their next steps. Courteney said that was really heavy. David said that if things could work out then she would have wanted him. Courteney said not at that hour. She said she could turn anyone away at that hour.

Courteney said that David likes to do the opposite things that she likes to do. She said she likes to stay home and he likes to go out. She said she likes to have people over but he likes to go out and dance. Howard said he doesn’t like to go out either. He said when Beth goes out he’s fine with that. He said he wants to stay home and watch movies and eat good food.

Courteney said she doesn’t want to hold David back. Howard asked if she’s had sex with anyone. She said she really hasn’t. The guys she works with don’t want to get involved with this whole mess either. Howard said when they’re on vacation with her and Coco then it looks like they want her. Courteney said she thinks that they like David too much to get involved with. She said they’re more like emotional friends. She said David has friends like that too.

Courteney said they get along better now than they were before. She said that this week has been crazy. She said that David is really fired up today. Howard said he’s fired up because he sat him down to talk about this. He said he wants her back. Courteney said he’s happier now than he was before. She said that he has shit going on at his house that she wouldn’t live with. She said that’s what she wants for him.

Howard asked if she remembers him breaking the wine glass over his head. She said she did and that was very mature of him. Howard said it was very immature. He said he saw the scene she did and he thinks it was just too much for David. She said he needs to learn more coping skills. That’s what he’s doing now.

Howard said David was trying to tell him that Courteney has problems too. She said that he’s the most amazing guy. She said that she doesn’t give a shit if he comes on this show and tells his stories. She said that he’s an honest, great person and he didn’t do anything wrong. She said that they’re great friends now and that’s what she was saying on Letterman last night. Howard said it sounds like they’re going to be better friends than being a couple. She said that might be what ends up happening.

Courteney said she’s not sure that they can take it to that different level again. She said she wouldn’t want to go through this again. She said she wants it to be the right decision. Courteney asked if David would want to go through it again. David said they could compromise. He said he could stay home some nights and go out other nights.

Courteney said it sounds vulnerable and sweet but when thy go to therapy they have a lot of resentments. She said that she’s not sitting in the driver’s seat, he is. Courteney said they don’t want to break up the family but that will never happen. David said he loves her. He said he doesn’t mean to not be on her side. She said it was fine. She said this is like therapy.

Howard said he knows that Beth needs her space. He said he’s fine with her going out. He said he thinks that they could be the same way. David said they are very different and they aren’t compatible in that way.

Howard said David has to move on. He said this is killing him. David said they really have to figure this out. He said he’s out with other women and he can’t open up to them. Courteney said she just wants him to be happy. She said that she wants to figure it out either way but David needs a decision either way but maybe they need to be with other people and get together sometime in the future.

Howard asked if she’s really not that horny to be with other dudes. She said she’s really not like she used to be. Howard asked when she last had sex. Courteney said it was a long time ago. Howard asked if she uses a vibrator. She said she does when she has to. Howard asked who she thinks about. She said women don’t have to think about things. David asked if Courtney would ride the Sybian. She said she might need one at home. David said it would be great if he could get her on there and tell her to get the poison out of her system.

Howard told Courteney how hot she looked on Letterman last night. She thanked him for that. Courteney said that David looks really great and she thinks that he’s beautiful. Howard asked if she thinks about him while masturbating. She said she really doesn’t think about anything when she’s masturbating.

Howard asked Courteney if she was connecting with him at Jimmy Kimmel’s party last time. She said they were connecting and David interrupted. David said he didn’t do that on purpose.

Howard asked Courteney if she thought about getting out of the marriage when he smashed the wine glass on his head. She said she didn’t then but there were times when she thought about breaking up with him early on. She said that she drove to his house once to break up with him and he was busy spray painting in the house with some friends and David didn’t even know their names. She said he’s so charming that they ended up having sex so she didn’t break up with him.

Howard asked David if he would go back to the situation now. David said they have a family together and she makes him laugh like no one else. He said they could live a life together. He said there could be more compatible people out there. He said that she could find someone who makes her more comfortable and maybe there’s someone out there for him. Howard asked if it would freak her out if David started dating Jennifer Aniston. Courtney said it would be weird. She said it would be a great story though.

Howard asked if David could get her. Courteney said she thinks that she cares too much about her to let that happen. Howard said that would make it hard for him to get her. Howard said he has a big penis though. Courteney confirmed that. Howard asked if he’s the biggest she’s had. Courteney said there was one other person. She said David is second biggest.

Howard asked if it was Michael Keaton. Howard said she went to visit him when they broke up. She said that didn’t happen. David said he’s trying to cause problems. Howard said he thinks that she’s imagining a life with someone that’s unbelievable. She said that she may never find that.

Courteney said she’s more hopeful about David’s life and him finding someone to be with. She said that she likes to sleep alone but she gets scared. She has locks all over and she has people around her. She said Coco sleeps in the bed with her too. Howard said that’s not healthy.

Howard said he liked the shots of her tittie popping out in some pictures he saw. Courteney said she knew it had happened but she just put it back in and kept going. Howard asked if it makes her crazy that the paparazzi gets that when she could have posed for Playboy and gotten millions. She said it bothers her now that Howard asked.

Howard asked why she didn’t invite David to St. Barts with her and her friends. She said that she was going with her girlfriend’s but Josh wanted to go too. She said she didn’t think it through with David. She said that it was going to be her, Coco and another friend. She said that Coco loves the guys she works with on the show. She loves Josh too. Howard said he thinks that this guy Josh is working her. She said he’s so not. David said he likes Josh a lot and he wants her to be happy so if it happens then that’s fine. He said he knows they’re not together though.

Howard asked if Josh calls her at night. She said he texts her about stuff sometimes. He’s a friend. Howard asked if he asks what she’s wearing. She said that he never does. David said that his friends ask if he wants them to ice this guy. David said it’s tough to see him with his daughter and that’s going to be the tough part of this whole thing.

Courteney said that even David would ask Josh to take Coco swimming. She said she was so happy to have people helping her out with Coco since she didn’t have a nanny there. Howard said he thinks that she’s just preparing him for another relationship.

David said there is a mourning and a loss thing that he has to go through. He said he may have done things to ruin his marriage. He said they talk about doing the same thing 15 years ago.

David said that the girls he’s gone out with have looked like Courteney. She said that they really do look like a younger, hotter version of her. Courteney said that David says he wants to be with her the rest of his life but he’s not dating 50 year olds. He’s dating younger women. Howard said he was hitting on Martha Stewart just the other day. She dared him to go out with her.

Howard asked if she was upset that he was out dating. She said that she wasn’t upset. She said she understands it and he may have been doing it to make himself feel better and not just to hurt her.

Courteney said they are opposites. She said it’s hard for her to try and stop him from following his dreams. As a friend she can help him do that and not try to stop him. Courteney said they got into a fight one other time and he got mad at her and took home two other girls. David said that was before they got married though.

Howard asked Courteney if she would be with another woman for David. She said she wouldn’t do that for any reason. She said she’s not into that.

Robin said they heard about Courteney and David going to counseling and they always said it wouldn’t work. David said you have to work on relationships. He said men and women are just too different. She said her driver has been married for 41 years and they have separated 4 tines. She said that things could work out some day. She said that she doesn’t want him to shut her out of his life because she loves him too much. She said that David says that would be a deal breaker if the woman wouldn’t let her be part of his life. David said a woman would have to understand that.

Howard asked if he’s going to ask Jesse J out. David said he won’t do that. He said he feels like a geek ball for even talking about that. Howard told David to tell Courteney how he really feels. David said that they’ll both date other people and it might be tough on both of them.

Courteney said she’s fine with David going out and having fun. She wondered if her publicist is going to kill her when she walks out today. Howard said she will.

Howard asked Courteney who she finds attractive. Courteney asked David who she does. Howard wanted her to answer. She said that she would go with someone who is not realistic at all. She said she has a talent crush on Christian Bale. Howard said ”Oy vey…” She said he’s married and young and it’s just a talent crush. David yelled ”Oh good for you!” He did his best Christian Bale impression for a few seconds. Fred played some audio of Bale screaming on the set of Terminator.

Howard asked Courteney if she would date a black man. She said that Tone Loc kissed her once. Howard said that he’d break a whole wine bottle over his head if she dated a black man. Howard said that he had to get going. He asked Robin if she was done. Robin said she was.

Howard asked Courteney if she would date Jim Carrey. She said she had crush on him. She said she may have made out with him. Howard asked why she didn’t have sex with him. He was in a relationship at the time. She said she didn’t make out with him. Howard got in live commercial for Caesar’s Casino as he wrapped up that interview. He said he had to come to a conclusion with the interview though.

Howard finished up the live commercial and got back to David and Courteney. Howard said he was pretending to be Courteney the other day with David. He said that he loved having her on the show today. He said he would like to see them back together again. He said that he knows David would like to stay home with her and get back together. He said he’d be more into her than the midgets like David is.

Howard said he’d like to see both of them at the Kimmel party. Howard asked if Courteney misses her sister in laws. She said that she does. She loves the whole family. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:35am. He said he hopes that they all have a great vacation.