Artie Lange new interview

Q. What is your gut feeling on whether Howard will re-sign with Sirius/XM?

A. You know, honestly, everybody thinks that we all have inside information. I really don’t. I don’t think Howard even knows now. I’m pretty positive negotiations haven’t started. My gut feeling is, if he does come back, there will be an amendment in the schedule, in some way, shape or form. But I don’t know anything at all about that.

Q. Does your second book have a title, or a tentative release date yet?

A. The tentative title is “College Is For Losers,” which is a quote my father said to me. No release date: We’re hopin’ for the Fall.

Q. If he didn’t come back, would you just do more standup, or try to do more acting?

A. That’s show business. I’m 42 years old and, I always tell people, I used to work construction, and then I was a longshoreman, and I quite that to drive a cab and had the shortest-lived waiter career in history. I basically drove a cab while I was struggling to do standup, and when I was 27, I got on “Mad TV” and started making enough money from that, and doing standup on the road, and I always say the last day of work I ever did, I was 27 years old. Since I was 27, it’s been 15 solid years, whether it be TV or film or radio or standup — or writing. I’ve always been able to make a living in show business. So, if Howard’s show goes away, you know what? I got some money socked away to where I could handle being out of work for a little while. It might even be helpful. I just would have to rely on whatever got me this far, and hope to get another gig. Being involved with the Howard Stern Show is the greatest, for so many reasons. Obviously, I feel I could get another gig based on my resume there. But also there’s a lot of people who, for some reason (laughing), might think I’d be some trouble. So, I don’t know. I’ve been lucky enough to work nonstop for 15 years, in this business, doing something, in every aspect of it, so I’ve got experience doing everything. So hopefully a gig will come up. But you know what, the Stern show could go away, and I could become a footnote. I could never work again in this business. People always say, “When are you gonna retire?” And I’m like, “I’m in a business where you don’t retire. It retires you.” I don’t know. I hope to work. We’ll see.

Q. Anything special planned for the Wellmont show?

A. I will be doing a lot of material about how Union football was way better than Montclair football when I was in high school. I’ll be bad-mouthing a lot of them, and I’ll be naming them by names — a lot of the cornerbacks and fullbacks. No, actually, Union-Montclair was a big rivalry. We beat them in the States when I was a senior, so … I might bring up something with that. I’ll do some Jersey references here and there, and I might sing a song or two at the end, a la Eddie Murphy.

Q. And then you’re doing New Year’s Eve at the Borgata, right?

A. No, that has been cancelled. I’m starting to write my second book, and I’m getting my life in order. And this DVD/CD, this is an hour and a half of material. I’ve purged every s— joke I’ve been doing on the road, and I got it out there, and I gotta write a new act anyway. I felt I really needed time to relax, and I might decide just to go away from Christmas to Jan. 2, with my girl, and try to get my head straight, or just relax. So, in a way, the Wellmont show in Montclair is the last time you’ll be able to see me in concert like that for a pretty long while, I’d say, outside of small clubs in New York, showing up. That’ll be it. After Dec. 5, everything is cancelled.

Q. So even next year, you’ll stay off the road for a while?

A. Again, because I put so much material on there … I played the Beacon Theatre the other day, sold out the Beacon in New York, and did some bits, and 98 percent of the crowd, it’s killing, then you hear a guy saying, “Do some new material,” and that always hurts you hard. I do have several new bits, and I was able to go into one — several new bits that work, so I’m prepared for something like that. But at the same time … there are some people who like to hearing the (old) bit live, it’s a weird thing. But I have enough to get through a good headlining show. And that’s another reason: I don’t want to put on a bad show. I need time to write a new act. An hour and a half is a long time. My last one, “It’s the Whiskey Talkin’,” is 45 minutes of standup, and there’s a bunch of standup that I haven’t put on either one, because I don’t think it’s ready yet. In the last 15 years, I’ve probably written ten hours of standup. It’s a long process — maybe recycling bits, writing new stuff. But another reason, besides rest, for cancelling everything after Dec. 5 was, if people are going to pay a lot of money, especially at something like a Borgata show, I want to give them a great show, and as much fresh material as I can.

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