Courteney Cox and David Arquette

Robin said she can’t believe this. Courteney Cox walked in. Howard said he loves her more than David. Courteney said hi to David. Howard said he’s so confused by them. He said he loves them as a couple. He said he feels that she’s making love to her co-stars. Howard said that maybe she’s being smart by not saying anything. He said that she looks really hot today.
Howard asked Courteney why she rejected David at Disney World. She said that it was in the morning so it was a bad time. She said that he could never put his arms around her without getting a boner. It didn’t matter what it was, he’d get a boner. Howard said that David needs to get in touch with what she needs. He said that he can’t just put his arm around her and get a boner and think he can have sex.

David said that she was exaggerating about that. Howard said he knows what she means. Howard said he’s always boned up with Beth. He said he has to keep it under control so he seems more interested in her. He has to hear what she’s saying. Howard said maybe he needs to whack off before he sees her. David asked if he could do it right now.

Davis said he thinks that they know it’s over and they really have to just figure out their next steps. Courteney said that was really heavy. David said that if things could work out then she would have wanted him. Courteney said not at that hour. She said she could turn anyone away at that hour.

Courteney said that David likes to do the opposite things that she likes to do. She said she likes to stay home and he likes to go out. She said she likes to have people over but he likes to go out and dance. Howard said he doesn’t like to go out either. He said when Beth goes out he’s fine with that. He said he wants to stay home and watch movies and eat good food.

Courteney said she doesn’t want to hold David back. Howard asked if she’s had sex with anyone. She said she really hasn’t. The guys she works with don’t want to get involved with this whole mess either. Howard said when they’re on vacation with her and Coco then it looks like they want her. Courteney said she thinks that they like David too much to get involved with. She said they’re more like emotional friends. She said David has friends like that too.

Courteney said they get along better now than they were before. She said that this week has been crazy. She said that David is really fired up today. Howard said he’s fired up because he sat him down to talk about this. He said he wants her back. Courteney said he’s happier now than he was before. She said that he has shit going on at his house that she wouldn’t live with. She said that’s what she wants for him.

Howard asked if she remembers him breaking the wine glass over his head. She said she did and that was very mature of him. Howard said it was very immature. He said he saw the scene she did and he thinks it was just too much for David. She said he needs to learn more coping skills. That’s what he’s doing now.

Howard said David was trying to tell him that Courteney has problems too. She said that he’s the most amazing guy. She said that she doesn’t give a shit if he comes on this show and tells his stories. She said that he’s an honest, great person and he didn’t do anything wrong. She said that they’re great friends now and that’s what she was saying on Letterman last night. Howard said it sounds like they’re going to be better friends than being a couple. She said that might be what ends up happening.

Courteney said she’s not sure that they can take it to that different level again. She said she wouldn’t want to go through this again. She said she wants it to be the right decision. Courteney asked if David would want to go through it again. David said they could compromise. He said he could stay home some nights and go out other nights.

Courteney said it sounds vulnerable and sweet but when thy go to therapy they have a lot of resentments. She said that she’s not sitting in the driver’s seat, he is. Courteney said they don’t want to break up the family but that will never happen. David said he loves her. He said he doesn’t mean to not be on her side. She said it was fine. She said this is like therapy.

Howard said he knows that Beth needs her space. He said he’s fine with her going out. He said he thinks that they could be the same way. David said they are very different and they aren’t compatible in that way.

Howard said David has to move on. He said this is killing him. David said they really have to figure this out. He said he’s out with other women and he can’t open up to them. Courteney said she just wants him to be happy. She said that she wants to figure it out either way but David needs a decision either way but maybe they need to be with other people and get together sometime in the future.

Howard asked if she’s really not that horny to be with other dudes. She said she’s really not like she used to be. Howard asked when she last had sex. Courteney said it was a long time ago. Howard asked if she uses a vibrator. She said she does when she has to. Howard asked who she thinks about. She said women don’t have to think about things. David asked if Courtney would ride the Sybian. She said she might need one at home. David said it would be great if he could get her on there and tell her to get the poison out of her system.

Howard told Courteney how hot she looked on Letterman last night. She thanked him for that. Courteney said that David looks really great and she thinks that he’s beautiful. Howard asked if she thinks about him while masturbating. She said she really doesn’t think about anything when she’s masturbating.

Howard asked Courteney if she was connecting with him at Jimmy Kimmel’s party last time. She said they were connecting and David interrupted. David said he didn’t do that on purpose.

Howard asked Courteney if she thought about getting out of the marriage when he smashed the wine glass on his head. She said she didn’t then but there were times when she thought about breaking up with him early on. She said that she drove to his house once to break up with him and he was busy spray painting in the house with some friends and David didn’t even know their names. She said he’s so charming that they ended up having sex so she didn’t break up with him.

Howard asked David if he would go back to the situation now. David said they have a family together and she makes him laugh like no one else. He said they could live a life together. He said there could be more compatible people out there. He said that she could find someone who makes her more comfortable and maybe there’s someone out there for him. Howard asked if it would freak her out if David started dating Jennifer Aniston. Courtney said it would be weird. She said it would be a great story though.

Howard asked if David could get her. Courteney said she thinks that she cares too much about her to let that happen. Howard said that would make it hard for him to get her. Howard said he has a big penis though. Courteney confirmed that. Howard asked if he’s the biggest she’s had. Courteney said there was one other person. She said David is second biggest.

Howard asked if it was Michael Keaton. Howard said she went to visit him when they broke up. She said that didn’t happen. David said he’s trying to cause problems. Howard said he thinks that she’s imagining a life with someone that’s unbelievable. She said that she may never find that.

Courteney said she’s more hopeful about David’s life and him finding someone to be with. She said that she likes to sleep alone but she gets scared. She has locks all over and she has people around her. She said Coco sleeps in the bed with her too. Howard said that’s not healthy.

Howard said he liked the shots of her tittie popping out in some pictures he saw. Courteney said she knew it had happened but she just put it back in and kept going. Howard asked if it makes her crazy that the paparazzi gets that when she could have posed for Playboy and gotten millions. She said it bothers her now that Howard asked.

Howard asked why she didn’t invite David to St. Barts with her and her friends. She said that she was going with her girlfriend’s but Josh wanted to go too. She said she didn’t think it through with David. She said that it was going to be her, Coco and another friend. She said that Coco loves the guys she works with on the show. She loves Josh too. Howard said he thinks that this guy Josh is working her. She said he’s so not. David said he likes Josh a lot and he wants her to be happy so if it happens then that’s fine. He said he knows they’re not together though.

Howard asked if Josh calls her at night. She said he texts her about stuff sometimes. He’s a friend. Howard asked if he asks what she’s wearing. She said that he never does. David said that his friends ask if he wants them to ice this guy. David said it’s tough to see him with his daughter and that’s going to be the tough part of this whole thing.

Courteney said that even David would ask Josh to take Coco swimming. She said she was so happy to have people helping her out with Coco since she didn’t have a nanny there. Howard said he thinks that she’s just preparing him for another relationship.

David said there is a mourning and a loss thing that he has to go through. He said he may have done things to ruin his marriage. He said they talk about doing the same thing 15 years ago.

David said that the girls he’s gone out with have looked like Courteney. She said that they really do look like a younger, hotter version of her. Courteney said that David says he wants to be with her the rest of his life but he’s not dating 50 year olds. He’s dating younger women. Howard said he was hitting on Martha Stewart just the other day. She dared him to go out with her.

Howard asked if she was upset that he was out dating. She said that she wasn’t upset. She said she understands it and he may have been doing it to make himself feel better and not just to hurt her.

Courteney said they are opposites. She said it’s hard for her to try and stop him from following his dreams. As a friend she can help him do that and not try to stop him. Courteney said they got into a fight one other time and he got mad at her and took home two other girls. David said that was before they got married though.

Howard asked Courteney if she would be with another woman for David. She said she wouldn’t do that for any reason. She said she’s not into that.

Robin said they heard about Courteney and David going to counseling and they always said it wouldn’t work. David said you have to work on relationships. He said men and women are just too different. She said her driver has been married for 41 years and they have separated 4 tines. She said that things could work out some day. She said that she doesn’t want him to shut her out of his life because she loves him too much. She said that David says that would be a deal breaker if the woman wouldn’t let her be part of his life. David said a woman would have to understand that.

Howard asked if he’s going to ask Jesse J out. David said he won’t do that. He said he feels like a geek ball for even talking about that. Howard told David to tell Courteney how he really feels. David said that they’ll both date other people and it might be tough on both of them.

Courteney said she’s fine with David going out and having fun. She wondered if her publicist is going to kill her when she walks out today. Howard said she will.

Howard asked Courteney who she finds attractive. Courteney asked David who she does. Howard wanted her to answer. She said that she would go with someone who is not realistic at all. She said she has a talent crush on Christian Bale. Howard said ”Oy vey…” She said he’s married and young and it’s just a talent crush. David yelled ”Oh good for you!” He did his best Christian Bale impression for a few seconds. Fred played some audio of Bale screaming on the set of Terminator.

Howard asked Courteney if she would date a black man. She said that Tone Loc kissed her once. Howard said that he’d break a whole wine bottle over his head if she dated a black man. Howard said that he had to get going. He asked Robin if she was done. Robin said she was.

Howard asked Courteney if she would date Jim Carrey. She said she had crush on him. She said she may have made out with him. Howard asked why she didn’t have sex with him. He was in a relationship at the time. She said she didn’t make out with him. Howard got in live commercial for Caesar’s Casino as he wrapped up that interview. He said he had to come to a conclusion with the interview though.

Howard finished up the live commercial and got back to David and Courteney. Howard said he was pretending to be Courteney the other day with David. He said that he loved having her on the show today. He said he would like to see them back together again. He said that he knows David would like to stay home with her and get back together. He said he’d be more into her than the midgets like David is.

Howard said he’d like to see both of them at the Kimmel party. Howard asked if Courteney misses her sister in laws. She said that she does. She loves the whole family. Howard wrapped up and ended the show around 10:35am. He said he hopes that they all have a great vacation.

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