Howard said on Thursday he went to go tape the Piers Morgan show. He said he doesn’t like doing interviews. He really doesn’t. He said he used to like it but not anymore. He just hates it. He said the only reason he did Piers’ show is because he asked. He also agreed to go out and promote the smartphone app. He said that’s cool and he agreed to help promote it.
Howard said this is Piers’ first week and they’re promoting the hell out of it. Howard said he’s seen a lot of news stories about his appearance on the show. Howard said he got over there to do the show around 1:30 and they were very nice. He said they were almost confrontational though. He said that Piers was saying that he’s going to be the King of All interviews and things like that. Howard said that he has everything to prove now. He said that it’s going to be hard to sustain an interview against the other shows that are already on. Howard said he’s not the king of anything yet. He said he’s kind of reminding him of David Lee Roth who came in and replaced him at K-Rock. Howard said that’s what Dave was claiming when he came in and it turned out no one listened to him.
Howard said he went over to do that show and he was trying to remember everything that happened. Howard said it was very long. He said he got there at 1:30 and they started taping around 2:30 or so. He said he didn’t get out until like 4. Howard said he felt like they taped for like 2 hours. Howard said he thought it was going to be about 45 minutes but they over tape the show.
Howard said he enjoyed the interview but at one point they were talking about his penis and measuring it with a ruler. Howard said he was getting pretty graphic. He said he told Piers that there was no way they were going to air that. Piers said they were going to take anything that didn’t air and put it on his web site. Howard said he wasn’t there to do outtake’s. He said he wanted to promote the smartphone app. Howard said about an hour into that thing he wanted to promote it. He said he brought that up and Piers asked if that’s all he was there to do. Howard said that’s the reason he was there. Howard said he didn’t care that much about being there at all.
Howard said he told Piers that he was there to promote the app and he got rushed through that. Howard said he wanted to mention Howard TV and some other stuff and they rushed him through it all. Howard said they’d cut it all out in post. Howard said he told them not to. He said that’s the reason he was there.
Howard said he was watching Sarah Palin on Sean Hannity’s show last night and he was falling all over himself explaining why Palin is a good person. Howard said that they were just defending her. Howard said he wanted to yell at them. Howard said Sarah Palin is her own worst enemy and she should just shut up and look pretty. He said she’s ruining any hope she has of being president.
Howard said he saw Oprah on with Piers and he was laughing at everything she was saying. Howard said she was promoting that network of her’s and not answering any questions. He said that she’s a mistake to have on for a first interview. He said that she’s a bad interview. Howard said he got the impression that she’s in love with Gayle King. Howard said it’s a love as deep as what he has with Beth. Howard said she begins every sentence with Gayle. Howard told JD to pull every sentence that starts with Gayle.
Howard said he talks about Beth in his interview. He said that Oprah isn’t in love with Stedman. He said she’s in love with Gayle. He said she might as well lick her pussy clean.
Howard said he had some clips from that interview. He played a couple of those and pointed out what a phony Oprah is. She was going on and on and on about her ”mission” and how fame came along with that. Howard said she ripped off Phil Donahue, that’s all she did.
Howard said Piers can learn a few things from him. He said he has to stop laughing at everything Oprah says. Howard said that Oprah goes on and on talking about her ”love brand” and stuff like that. Howard played a little more of the interview and talked about her love for Gayle. Howard said that he feels bad for Piers.
Howard said his interview with Piers is on tonight. He said he ended up liking Piers during the interview. Howard said he took his sunglasses off during the interview. He said he asked his agent and Ralph how he looked because he has more control there than he does doing an interview like that. Howard said he was trying to look like Johnny Depp or something like that. He said that doesn’t happen though. Howard said he was a good looking kid until he hit puberty. He said he turned into a monster when he went through puberty.
Howard said he was obsessing about his look during the interview. Robin asked what they said. Howard said his agent Don said that this look of his where he doesn’t shave is working against him on TV. He said they were talking about the stubble and how bad it looked on him. Howard said that he must have looked horrible. Howard said he has a feeling he’ll throw up when he sees the interview tonight.
Robin said she saw Howard in a promo for the show and she thought he looked good. Howard said he didn’t like the way he blasted Jay Leno, Oprah and Larry King. He said he has no idea what he even said now. Howard said he didn’t get to promote his apps and stuff. He said it ruined his weekend. Robin said that it can be tough because they can edit the show. Howard said he didn’t even want to get into some of the stuff he got into. He said that he wanted to give the guy an entertaining interview. Howard said when he did break out of it they should have just let him do it.
Howard said he got off the interview and he was in the green room and this guy marched in with a camera and asked him to talk to CNN.com. Howard said he just wanted to get the fuck out of there. He did the interview though. He said that JD had the audio of that interview. Howard played that clip where they asked him how he thought Piers did with the interview. Howard said he didn’t pay attention to the interview. They asked Howard what he thought about all of the fans wanting him to be on the show. Howard said that they should get rid of Piers and let him do the interviews every night. He said he had a lot of fun doing it.
Howard said he was exhausted by that point. He said he just wanted to be left alone. It could have gone on all day long.
Howard said he watched Piers on CNN yesterday and he was on promoting his show. He said that they were asking Piers about getting Oprah and then the guy asks about Howard Stern and he was basically asking if he was a piece of shit. Howard had the audio of that interview too. In that clip the guy talking to Piers asked about Howard Stern and said that there are some people who don’t like Howard Stern. He understood why he had Oprah on but not Howard Stern.
Howard thanked CNN for that. He said ”Thanks fuckers…” Howard told Robin to listen to this fucking guy. The guy asked Piers what he’s going to do for his viewers that don’t like someone like Howard Stern. Piers said that there will be as big an audience for Howard as there would be for Oprah. He said that people are going to tune in to see him engage in battle with Howard. Howard said he’s not sure why Oprah is celebrated and he’s not.
Howard said he was telling one interview show about how Piers hasn’t proven anything here yet and all he had was a little show over in England. He said the reporter got all worked up because she was from England. Howard said everything seems to go wrong for him. He said he just wants to be left alone.
Howard said he feels bad for Piers because in 6 months he’s going to be interviewing Scott Baio. Howard said that he happens to be a good interview himself so they lucked out and got him.
Howard said he enjoyed talking to Piers. He said he hopes it’s good. It’s on tonight on CNN. Howard said he can’t do anything if it’s not good. Robin said she saw it and she thinks that people will enjoy seeing it. Howard said he was talking to Piers about his parents and stuff. That led to him doing his impression of his parents. He was doing his mom and dad talking about helping him out with his first car and how his father would listen to Bob Grant instead of listening to Howard. Howard said his father didn’t communicate with him very well.
Howard said this Oprah interview was crazy. He played more of the audio of Piers talking to Oprah. He asked her if she would ever run for President. Oprah said she would never win. She said that she knows where her lane is and she would never run.
Howard said that Oprah is a teacher and she’s carrying on in this clip. Howard said she sounds insane. He said she’s talking about love and all of this nonsense. Howard played more of the audio where Piers was asking Oprah about what she does best. Howard cut that off and said he told Piers why he’s a piece of garbage. He said he doesn’t think that he’s some great person like Oprah does. Howard said Oprah is a bore. He said that she was bragging about how she’s there with him and fully present. Howard said he’s not sure why people buy into that bullshit. He said he doesn’t like her. He bets that Gayle King can’t stand her. Robin asked if he’s talked to Gayle about that. Howard said he has and she’s sick of Oprah. Howard said he had to promise not to say anything. He said he wishes that she had said that to him.
Howard said Oprah is the size of a whale and she’s not fully realized like she claims she is. Howard said that none of what she was saying was interesting. He said this was a boring interview.
Howard was going to play some of the Oprah talking about Gayle clips but he said he was done. He said he was running out of time anyway. He said he had to take a break and prepare for the Mystery Guest they had coming in. They went to break a short time later.