Jesse Ventura interview on the Stern Show

Howard came back and had George do a quick announce. George did one about Robin and how he’d still like to see her big round titties even though she’s a vegan.

Howard said Jesse Ventura was there and he has a book out called ”63 Documents the Government Doesn’t Want You to Read.” Howard said he heard that Jesse flew on a private jet to get there. He said he thought he as a man of the people. Jesse said he has to do that because of a lawsuit he has going on right now. He said he has metal plates in him so he has to be subjected to the body scans and that’s just not right. He said he’s suing over that so he has to fly private.

Howard asked Jesse about what someone is supposed to do if they find the metal detector going off. Howard asked how they are supposed to take someone’s word for it that they have metal in their body. Jesse said he’s not sure so that’s why he’s just suing for himself. He said he was a governor and a mayor and he was a U.S. Navy Seal. He said he’s an honorable person and he’s not sure why they have to search him. He said that he’s tired of trying to prove that he’s innocent. He said elected officials don’t have to go through this scan. He said he’s not sure why John Boehner doesn’t have to do that.

Jesse said that when they do these scans they feel you up and he’d rather have a woman doing it than a man. Howard said he finds Jesse to be a handsome man and he was wondering if he would be up for some gay stuff. Jesse saw that George Takei was sitting in so he said hi to him and said he’s a big fan. He said he loved Star Trek and he used to watch them before he’d tell his friends not to call him until the show was over. That was way back in 1969. Howard said that George told them some stories about getting his ass licked the other day. Howard asked if that ever happened to him when he was wrestling. Jesse said he can’t recall.

Howard asked Jesse about what’s going on in Libya and Muammar Gaddafi. He said there are many other places in this world where we don’t do shit when there are uprisings. Jesse said it happens in many places, like Rwanda, and if there’s not oil there we don’t care.

Howard asked if he thinks we should say out of Libya. Jesse said we should get out of Afghanistan and Iraq too. He said that we don’t belong there. He said we have to clean up our own back yard before we go and do that.

Howard and Jesse talked about the fight against terrorism. Jesse said you really cant fight it. He said it’s a very tough fight.

Jesse and Howard talked about 9/11 and the theories Jesse has about that. Howard asked why he didn’t talk about this stuff on Piers Morgan last night. Jesse said he’s so off the grid in Mexico that he doesn’t find out about news like the Japan earthquake and the invasion of Libya until 5 days after each of those stories.

Howard asked Jesse about his theory about the weather control they have up in Alaska. Jesse said they can control the weather and knock airplanes out of the air. He said they lie about it too. He said they call it an unclassified research center and it’s clearly classified because they wouldn’t let him in.

Howard said maybe they made a mistake and they caused a tsunami. Jesse said that might be what happened before the one that hit Indonesia. He said that the people there saw the Northern Lights before it hit and that’s what happens when this weather control place is ramped up.

Jesse said he heard a story about how they were supposed to get hit with the tsunami around 5:20pm one night and he ran home and got his surfboard. He said he stood out there and the water just went out a couple of feet and came back in. There was no tsunami there.

Howard asked Jesse if he thinks that he’s macho or does he do some wussy stuff. He said he cries at movies. Jesse said what really gets him is if he thinks about his parents. He said he misses them a great deal. Jesse said his parents were great people and he learned a lot from them. He said he learned that they go to war over money from his dad. He said his mother was a World War II veteran too. He said his dad didn’t want him to go into the service. He said his dad was opposed to the Viet Nam War and he knew it was just about money.

Jesse told Howard that they found lithium in Afghanistan and that’s why we’re over there. He said the government says they want to bring democracy to the country but that’s bullshit. If they just said we’re there for the lithium then he’d understand.

Howard asked Jesse about this new book he has out and if it’s conspiracy theories. Jesse said they’re public documents and you can read every document they had in there. He said his books sell and he’s had 4 best sellers so far. He said the pre-sale of this one has been 3 times the sales of the last book.

Howard asked Jesse if there are shows that won’t have him on. He said the people at FOX won’t have him on. He said Hanntiy, O’Reilly and Beck will not have him on. He said they say they’re fair and balanced but they won’t have him on. He said that Al Jazera will have him on but not FOX. He said Al Jazera is more fair and balanced in his opinion.

Jesse says that he’d run with Ron Paul if he runs for President. Jesse said that Ron Paul wants the federal reserve audited. He said that’s a good thing. He also stood up and said that no one died from this WikiLeaks web site and he’s right. He said that he supports the guy who runs that web site. He said he found out that this new premiere of Sweden had ties to Carl Rove and he’s thinking that maybe WikiLeaks has stuff on Rove and Cheney and that’s why they’re trying to keep him down.

Howard asked if Jesse thinks that Ron Paul could really win. Jesse said he thinks that they could if he quit the Republican party and they had fair access to all 50 states. Howard asked if he likes him because he’ll actually carry out his promises. He said Obama promised a bunch of stuff and hasn’t come through. Howard said if you say you’re going to pull out of a war you do it. Jesse said that Ron Paul says we walked into that war in Afghanistan and we can walk right back out.

Robin asked if Jesse thinks that they got to Obama and told him what’s really going on over in Afghanistan and that’s why we’re still there. Jesse said he was probably ”taken to the wood shed” and told what was going on and the country really isn’t being run by the President.

Howard asked Jesse about this theory he has about how Lyme disease is a biological agent. Jesse said there’s a testing station not to far from where Howard lives on Long Island and the Lyme disease is called Lyme because it was first reported in Lyme, Connecticut. He said he thinks that it could have come from Plum Island where that testing center is.

Jesse has stories about the veterans who are not taken care of by the government. He said they just forget about them and move on to the next. He said we should be ashamed of the way we treat our veterans.

Howard brought up the bee population and what Jesse thinks is going on there. Jesse said that Albert Einstein said that when the bees go, we go. He said he thinks that it’s the insecticides that are killing them. Howard said he’s all for DDT and he’d like to get rid of the bedbugs. Robin said George had bedbugs. Howard said when they had DDT they got rid of the bedbugs.

Jesse said they put preservatives on the food up here. He said down in Mexico his food spoils in a couple of days. He said that this stuff is not good for people and they don’t need to be making fruit look fresh for 30 days.

Robin asked why they do this to the food if the people who are doing it are eating the same food. Jesse said maybe they’re not eating the same food.

Howard said that they used to put salt peter to the food at camp when he was going. He said it was supposed to make you less horny but it apparently didn’t work. He said he was fucking like a rabbit.

Howard said that Jesse is going to be signing his book at bookends in Ridgewood, New Jersey tonight. He has a couple of other book signing’s coming up this week as well.

Howard asked George if he was learning anything today. George said this was very enlightening. George said he admired what Jesse did as governor of Minnesota too. Jesse said he worked for four years to get gay employees benefits. He said he was successful but that was gone shortly after he left office. He said they took them away again.

Howard had George correcting Jesse on his pronunciation of ”tsunami.” Howard was corrected yesterday. Jesse apologized for saying it wrong.

Howard asked Jesse why they never pulled off taking out Castro in Cuba. Jesse said they tried and tried and Fidel outsmarted them.

Howard asked Jesse about his story about this country beheading someone over in Iraq. Jesse said he’s not sure why they did it but they did. He said they’d have to talk to the people who did it to find out why they did it. Jesse thinks that we’re still torturing prisoners.

Howard asked Jesse about being alone in Mexico with his wife. Jesse said being with her isn’t being alone. Howard asked if he yaps all day or does he shut down while he’s there. Jesse said he shuts down. He said he tries to keep that out of his home life. He said he does get worked up sometimes but he tries to keep it out. Howard asked if his wife believes in these theories of his. He said she’s believing the stories about the government and how they’re not good.

Howard asked Jesse if it’s dangerous down there in Mexico. Jesse said that there are places that are but not where he’s at. Howard asked if he’s allowed to carry a gun down there. Jesse said that it’s illegal to have one. He said that the cops have been keeping an eye on him keeping him safe there. Howard said Jesse is on fire. He said he sees what’s going on there.

Howard asked Jesse if he’s going to cut his hair. Jesse said you have to keep it short if you run for office. Jesse said that he can’t even run for office now. He said that he’s become an Atheist and you can’t get elected if you’re an Atheist. He said that George Carlin is the one who convinced him. He said that he worships the sun and that’s the thing he believes in. He said he can see the sun and he can’t see anything else. Jesse said until someone can prove to him that God exists, he’s not going to believe. He hasn’t seen proof in the 59 years he’s been alive.

Howard asked Jesse why we’re here. Jesse said we evolved. Robin asked if there are other places like this in the universe. Jesse said he doesn’t know. Howard told him to go home and think about all of this and answer it in his next book. Howard said he wants to know why we are here and if there are aliens.

Jesse said he believes that we may become energy when we die but that’s it. He said that from what he knows is that God is this guy in the sky who wants your money. He said if he’s in the sky then why does he need money? Howard said we’ve all seen pictures of guys praying to rocks and laugh but people are prying to an invisible man and not laughing.

Howard asked Jesse if he’s seen these iPad things. Jesse said he’s never even had a cell phone. He said between computers, cell phones and other stuff people aren’t living their lives. Howard asked what he does on the plane when he’s flying. Jesse said that he reads a real book. He likes turning the pages in a real book.

Howard gave Jesse another plug for his book ”63 Documents the Government Doesn’t Want You to Read” and for his upcoming book signing’s.

Howard asked if he will talk to the people. Jesse said of course he will. He said if they’re reasonable questions he’ll answer them.

Jesse heard about Howard flying out to California soon so he told him to come down to Cabo San Lucas to visit him. Howard said he’d be afraid to stay with him alone. Jesse told him that he wouldn’t be alone, his wife will be there. Jesse told him to fly down there. Howard said that he doesn’t know if he can do that.

Howard took a call from Bobo who said that he’s got a theory of 2012 and how the world is going to end. He told Jesse to explain it. Jesse said that every 150 years the sun cleanses itself and the earth has a magnetic force field around it and there’s a hole in it right now. He said that the last one happened in 1860 and it didn’t affect us because we didn’t have electricity. He said the whole United States could be knocked off the grid. He said if that happened then there would be chaos. Howard said he was impressed that the Japanese didn’t riot or loot after the earthquake and tsunami. Jesse said they certainly weren’t Americans.

Bobo told Jesse to tell people about more of his theories. Howard told Bobo to tell everyone about his 87 IQ. Jesse said that Bobo was talking about this Denver airport thing and how there are no hotels by the airport out there. He said supposedly the chosen ones will be going into the bunkers under the airport there. He said it won’t be us who gets to go into those bunkers.

Howard asked Jesse what books he’s been reading. Jesse said he read the book ”Charles Manson Now” and it was very interesting.

Bobo asked Jesse where he’s going to be on December 21, 2012. Jesse said he’ll be at home in Cabo San Lucas. He said he’s got solar power there and he’ll be the one who has power when everyone else is knocked off the grid. He said he may have a couple hundred thousand people asking to live with him then.

Howard and Jesse spent some time talking about the death penalty and life in prison. Jesse said that he thinks that ”life” should be life. He said that they shouldn’t’ be allowed to get a parole hearing in 8 years.

Bobo asked when Jesse’s show ”Conspiracy Theories” is coming back. Jesse said that they’re in talks and he’s not sure when it’ll be back. He said that one show was censored and that was the show about police state stuff and how FEMA is building internment camps. George was locked up in one as a child. Howard said maybe George will go with him down to visit Jesse at his home in Mexico. George said he’ll go.

Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard that there are openings to inner earth at the north and south poles. Howard said he’s asking if the earth is hollow. Jesse said he doesn’t believe that.

Gary said JD sent him a great article about Jesse’s show and how they’re erasing the shows from DVRs. Jesse hadn’t heard that one. Howard said his head will explode if he tries to figure that one out.

Howard wrapped up with Jesse after giving him some more plugs for his book and book signing’s. Jesse begged him to come down and visit him at his home. Howard said he’s been to Mexico many times and he’s never going back. They went to break a short time later.

2 comments

  1. I wish Howard would stop having that blithering idiot Jesse Ventura on the show. Everything is a conspiracy to that sun worshiping douche.

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