Howard came back and had Tila Tequila come in. Howard said he had never gotten so much hate mail before she was on last. He said he has to talk to her about that. Howard said that he has a lot to talk to her about.
Tila came in and Howard said she’s looking very sexy. She said it’s been a while. She said she thinks it was around a year ago she was on last. Howard said he got so much hate mail about her when she was on. Howard said they told him not to have her on the show. Howard asked why people are enraged by her. Tila said last year was a crazy time for her. Howard asked why it was so crazy. She said they might as well just replay her last appearance.
Howard said Tila has a crazy life. He said she wants to move to New York and get a ”normal” roommate. Howard said that he would imagine that everyone would be afraid to live with her. She said that it’s the opposite of what people think she’s like. Howard asked if she has a lot of money. She said she’s actually broke right now. She said she just wants to experience what it’s like to be normal. Tila said she went to college for a semester and she kind of misses that normal life. Tila said she’d like to go back to college and party with her colleagues and things like that.
Howard asked if she wants the fame to go away. Tila said that she would like that right now. Howard asked what she wants to go to school for. She said he wants to be a teacher.
Howard asked Tila about her porn tape and what was going on there. Tila said that she is in the tape but she had nothing to do with the release. Howard said he tried to watch it last night but it froze up. He said he wasn’t able to see it. He said he saw some of it and it was pretty hard core. He said it looked like some hot action too.
Howard asked Tila about going to this Insane Clown Posse concert and she got pelted with stones, balloons with urine in them and feces. Tila said they set her up for that. She said that they have a reputation for doing that. Tila said they did the same thing to Method Man the next day. Tila said they just wanted to talk about her and that’s how they did it. Howard asked why people hate her so much. Tila said she doesn’t know. She said he’d have to ask those people.
Howard asked Tila what she would do if she was a P.R. person and she wanted to advise her. Tila said she would just move to New York and not give a fuck about them.
Tila told Howard that the insane Clown Posse set her up and they got what they wanted. Howard said that they advised her not to go on stage and she went up anyway. She said that they’re lying about that. Tila said she was going to sue them but it’s a waste of her time so she’s just going to forget about it and move on.
Howard asked Tila about her MTV show and how she was looking for love on the show. Tila is into women and she had a girlfriend for a while. Tila said they broke up but she just met someone a week after moving to New York. She said that it’s a guy and she hasn’t been with guys for years. She said that she makes guys wait like 3 months before they get in her pants. Tila said she likes girls better but she likes guys who get her jokes. She said that’s a must for anyone who dates her. Howard said he wouldn’t think she’d be into him if she was into girls. He asked if she’d bring girls home for the guy. Tila said that she will only have threesomes with women. She said she’s never had a guy in them.
Howard asked Tila about this woman she was dating and if she was famous. Tila said she was but she doesn’t want to talk about who it was.
Howard asked why Tila thinks that Samantha Ronson was happy about her getting attacked on stage at the Insane Clown Posse concert. Tila said she was pretty cool with her until she said that. She said she was pretty shocked by the comment.
Howard asked Tila about how she was supposed to be on Celebrity Rehab but she didn’t get on. Tila said that there’s a group of rich bitches who do nothing but have Daddy’s money. He said they found out that she had the chance to go on the show and they got jealous. She said they started making up stories about her and sending them out. She said that she knows exactly who said that but whatever. Howard wondered how you bad mouth someone out of celebrity rehab.
Tila said she is up 24/7 and she doesn’t have an Ambien addiction like people claim she does. Howard said she tweeted once that she had an addiction problem. Tila didn’t know what he was talking about. Howard asked if she had an addiction problem. Tila said he has. She said she’s tried just about every drug on the planet at some point in her life.
Howard asked Tila about people throwing human doody at her and how that must have made her nuts since she has OCD.
Tila told Howard about cuts on her arms and how her other personality had done that to her. She said that’s the thug bitch that beats her up all the time. Her name is Jane. She said she has a few other personalities in there too. Tila told Howard about how she wishes that they would leave her alone. She’s done some things trying to get rid of them but she has a hard time getting rid of them.
Tila claims that her Jane personality tried to kill her. Tila said that she tried to prevent her from killing someone else and she had to fight with her to stop from killing someone else so she stabbed her but Jane is in her body so she stabbed herself. Tila said that Jane put video of it on YouTube. She said that there was this gory video of her stabbing her arm up there.
Howard said everything she’s talking about would tell him to stay away from her. He said that he thinks he would fuck her anyway though. He said she must be wild in bed. Tila said crazy girls are wild in bed. Tila said there’s a man in her too. She said his name is Owen. Tila said that the guy is an old British man.
Howard asked Tila if she thinks that she could wake up with an ass full of semen and not know who it was that had sex. Tila said ”ewwww” and said she thinks she’d know. Howard said the Howard TV guys have video of Tila stabbing herself. They played the tape and Tila said you can hear the voice isn’t even her voice.
Tila told Howard that she got into a fight once and made friends with a Hispanic gang to defend her. She said that they brought her into their gang.
Tila said there’s another personality in her that she calls Little Tila. She said she’s very shy and very scared. Howard wanted to talk to her. Howard said hello to her and asked if she was very shy and if she likes anal. Little Tila didn’t know what anal was. She said she didn’t want to talk. Little Tila brought regular Tila back. Howard wanted to talk to Owen. Tila did an awful British accent for about a second.
Howard said that Tila is very attractive and that’s what saves her. Howard said he would like to screen some of her friends.
Howard said Tila is still working on her music career. Robin said she thought she wanted a normal life. Howard said that’s not happening.
Howard asked Tila about what the worst crime is that she committed. She said she was going to go to sleep. Howard asked if it was murder. She wasn’t talking.
Howard played some of Tila’s new song. She said it was the wrong one. Howard said that’s what he had. He asked to dance with her. Howard got up and danced and Tila claimed that Owen was going to dance with him.
Tila told Howard about going to a party last night and seeing a bunch of news anchors there. She said there were some who were messed up on drugs.
Tila told Howard that she changed her name to Miss Tila because even she hates Tila Tequila. Howard gave her some plugs for her new song and her web site MissTila.com.
Howard suggested some more names for Tila. He suggested Tila Vodka or maybe Tila Nyquila or something like that. Howard said he bets that she does the full monty in bed. Howard suggested Tila Fajita. Tila said that was a downgrade from Tila Tequila.
Howard asked Tila about what she does with the chicks she’s with. He asked if she’s tried a strap-on with the girls. She said she has done that. She said that it can feel like pounding her from behind and you feel dick envy when you do that. She said he can cum from just that.
Howard asked if she’s jealous that he has a penis. She said she’d have to look at it first. Howard asked if she’s ever fucked a fat chick. Tila said she hasn’t yet. Howard asked if she’s just into lipstick lesbians. Howard figured that a real lesbian would be with a more masculine lesbian. Tila said that’s not the way it works. Tila said she felt like Jane was about to come out while he’s talking about this. She said she’s going to push her back in and not let her out.
Howard asked Tila what she does with nips. She said she just sucks on them. She said Howard knows what to do. She said that her nipples are very sensitive and she can cum from someone just sucking on them. Howard said a few minutes should be enough then. She said that when you suck on her nipples she can cum because they’re connected to her vagina in some way. Howard asked what kind of sucking it would be. She said that if you suck on one and play with the other with your hand she can cum. Howard thanked her for that.
Howard said that you can get Tila’s single ”You Can Dance” on iTunes. He gave her another plug for her web site too. Howard said she taught him some stuff today too. He said that most of his audience is guys so they go right over those titties usually.
Howard asked if he should lick her vagina too. She said that’s a must. She said that you have to get all sensual with it and tease it with your fingers. Tila said that you can use your finger around her ass too. Howard said it was exhausting what she was describing. He said he likes Tila. He said she’s fun. Howard said he’s going to watch her sex tape too. Tila said that’s why she had to dye her hair black.
Howard had some audio of Tila making some noise in her sex tape. She asked him to stop the tape and she’d make that sound on her own. She made some noise and touched herself. Howard asked if she really did that. She said she did. Howard said she’s lying. Howard said he didn’t see anything but she was showing her wet fingers.
Gary asked if she wanted to ride the Sybian. She said she would do that. She had no idea what it was. Howard told her it was all clean and that she had to be honest on it. Howard said he’d suck her nipples while she’s on it. The guys set her up on the Sybian. She asked what she’s supposed to do. She flashed her tits to Howard. Howard said they’re perfect. She claims they’re real.
Howard had Gary turn the Sybian on and started her off at about 30 percent power. She had him turn it up. She said she was going to cum about a minute later. She asked them to stop but Howard told Gary to keep it going. Tila stayed on it and sounded like she was enjoying it. She asked if she could take it with her. They eventually turned the power down and let her off the thing.
Tila said that was good shit. Howard said her panties were soaked. Howard said she ripped her top off during that. Tila asked if it was going to be all over the press. Howard said of course it is. Howard said her new single is going to go through the roof. Tila said this will be her last appearance ever. She said that’s the end of Miss Tila.
Howard asked if it was as good as she made it sound. She said that they had it at 100 percent and she was rubbing herself. Howard said she’s rubbing her ass too. He said her panties are wet from that. Howard told her to take them off. Howard told her to get back on there with Jane and Little Tila… and Owen too.
Howard said that was some ride. He said she lost herself. Tila told Howard he was supposed to help make her better. She said that he’s not helping her image. Howard said she came to the right place. Howard asked Robin if she saw that. Robin said she saw some of it. Tila asked if they filmed that. Howard said of course they did. Tila didn’t know that people were listening. She saw the video replay and asked them to please delete it. She said she feels so embarrassed. Howard said it was the most beautiful thing she saw.
Tila asked Robin how she feels about doing all of this. Howard said this was Robin’s idea. Tila said she should go to church and become a nun. Howard gave her some more plugs for her song and her web site. Howard said goodbye to Tila, Jane, Owen and Little Tila. She attempted some of the voices but they all sounded the same. They went to break a short time later.