Howard came back and said he had Yucko there and also had Dynah the girl who went on the date with Pete yesterday. He had her on the phone. Dynah said that she has to pee. She was waiting for him to come back though. Howard told her to go ahead and pee and they’ll listen in. She didn’t want to do that. She said it was okay and they could go through the interview.
Howard had Medicated Pete come in. Pete said he had a good time on the date. He thought they both did. Howard said they rode the mechanical bull at the place they went to. Howard told Dynah to be honest there and don’t sugar coat it.
Dynah said that she had fun on the bull and stuff but the date was very tough. Howard said he heard the audio of the video they shot and he could tell from that. He said that it’s good he got to hear the tapes. He said Pete could have shit going on but it wasn’t working for him yesterday. Pete said he thought it went well. Howard said he’s not seeing it from his perspective. Howard said that Pete was feeling love for this girl and he thought he was going to get another shot with her. Pete said he didn’t think that. He said he had reservations.
Robin said she wanted to know what Pete really thought before Howard said that it didn’t go well. Howard said Pete thought he had a shot. Howard said it went horribly though. He said he’d sum it up for Pete really quick. He said Pete didn’t ask her any questions. Howard said it’s not his looks or his Tourette’s. He said that it’s that he was silent and didn’t ask her any questions. Howard said that you have to pretend that you’re the host of an interview show and ask her about everything. Howard said all he had to do was ask her where she was born to start off. He said he should conduct an interview and pretend to be interested in them… or be interested in them.
Howard said this girl is in a wheelchair and she’s going to law school. Howard told Pete what he should have been asking her about. He said that he could have asked her about what school she’s going to, if it was a dream of her’s to do that and things like that.
Howard told Pete he could have come up with some new questions instead of talking to her about the same stuff they talked to her about on the air. Pete said he was very nervous and he just choked. Howard said it got so quiet in there that they were just eating and there was food flying around. Dynah said that it was but it can get messy sometimes. Howard said she would have been into it if he had asked her some questions. Howard said that’s all you have to do.
Howard had some audio from the date. Pete said he’d rather not listen to that. Howard said he had a hard time hearing it this morning. He said this chick was a winner and he could have had her legs spread on the bed if he had played it right. Howard said she must not be too particular to go on a date with Pete. She said she does have standards. She gave her number to Pete. Howard said she’s probably changed her number already.
Howard asked how long it took Dynah to know it wasn’t working. She said she tried to get him to talk a little more but he was very quiet and she didn’t know what to do with him. Howard said she really tried and it just wasn’t working. Howard said he was leaving work and he saw Pete in the hall with his head down and he wasn’t saying anything. He said he should have pulled him aside right then and had a talk with him. Pete said he was really getting nervous.
Pete said he didn’t want to rehash the whole staring thing in the hallway when Howard came by so that’s why he was all nervous. Howard said he had no idea what he was talking about.
Howard played some audio from the date. In the clip Pete was eating a hamburger. Howard told him that’s the wrong food for him to eat. He said he needs to drink a glass of water and some tea or something. Pete asked Dynah about giving her his contact information during the date. She said that he already had her email address. Then Pete poked her in the arm with his arm. She said it was fine since it was such close quarters. There wasn’t much conversation other than that.
Gary said that Pete might be near tears now. Howard said that they’ll find him a girl and this was just the warm up. Howard said that he’ll be fine. Pete was upset about the whole thing. He said that he can hold a conversation but just not yesterday. Pete said he was actually laughing so Howard figured Gary got it wrong again. Gary said that it wasn’t just him. He said the TV guys were saying it too.
Howard said Pete is better off than JD is. He said that JD can’t even get a sentence out. Artie said that he’s been on worse dates.
Dynah said that she can’t go on another date with Pete. She said that it was a lot of work to make it work yesterday and she can’t do that again.
Howard played some more audio of the date and Pete really had nothing to say to this girl. She tried to get a conversation going and he would just bring it to a quick end. Pete would answer her with two word answers and just stop talking.
Howard said this wasn’t exactly The Bachelor. Pete wasn’t too thrilled hearing it either. Howard said if he looked like Brad Pitt he could get away with it.
Dynah said if they worked with him on social skills he might have a better time. She said that he has something there but he doesn’t know how to work it. Howard said he knows what to do. He said that they’ll find her another woman. Howard let Dynah go after that.
Howard said he knows what to do with Pete now. Howard said that they have video of him riding the mechanical bull. They watched that for a minute.
Howard said that Pete has to pretend that he’s Howard Stern interviewing a chick. Howard said he has to become Howard Stern of the Howard Stern Show. He said if he does that he’ll be able to engage a girl in a conversation. Howard said that if the woman wants to be a lawyer, you ask about law school. Howard said girls will talk for 2 hours if you ask them a question like that. He said they’re starved for attention. Robin tried to help out but Howard cut her off saying this was a man to man conversation.
Howard told Pete that if the girls talk for a while you listen and pick up on something else and bring that up. He said you just need to pick up on a few key words. He was going to have Miss Howard TV come back in so they can role play. Howard told Pete to ask her about herself. He said that he’s never going to date her but he can practice with her. He told Pete he can put other guys down and things like he does on the air. Howard said he can put down Scott the Engineer, Gange and Artie. He said he can talk about what a mess Artie is just like he does.
Howard had the guys bring Reby back in so they could do this experiment. Reby said she heard what was going on and she knew what to do. Pete asked her how she was doing and told her how beautiful she was. Pete asked her about being in Penthouse but she had never done that. Pete asked her about the modeling career and what made her want to do it. Reby told him how she got into it and Pete said that he’s far from a model himself. He said he likes to chill out and go look at sporting events and stuff. Howard told him to just stick to asking her questions about herself. Pete asked her what kind of music she liked. She said she was into classic rock and stuff.
Howard said Pete is always asking about music. He told him he has to stop with that. Howard had another clip from Pete and Dynah’s date where he was asking her about music. Howard told him that’s a lame question.
Pete got back to his ”date” with Reby and asked her about what she likes to do. She said she likes to go out and drink. She asked Pete if he likes to do that. Pete ran out of questions after that.
Howard said he could have asked her about what she did when her parents had her committed. He said that she’d talk about that for 20 minutes. Howard told Pete they have a lot of work to do. He said he was doing better with this chick than he did with Dynah.
Pete got back to his date and asked Reby about why she became a Giants fan. She had some stuff to say about that but it didn’t last too long. Pete sounded angry when he asked the questions so Howard told him he doesn’t have to do that. Howard said it would be funny if Reby wanted to go on a date with Pete after this. Howard said Pete is a lonely guy and he finally has a girl to talk to so he has to ask her some questions.
Howard told Pete he has to ask these girls about stuff and listen to what they’re saying. He’s not doing that right now. Howard told Pete that they’re going to get him laid eventually. He told him he has to be prepared next time. Reby thought he was doing okay with her.
Robin asked Pete what he wanted to ask Reby. Pete asked her what it was like being so attractive. Reby said that was a good question. She said she gets up in the morning and checks the web and then plays some piano. Howard told him to ask her how she gets into that kind of stuff. Pete tried that and took Howard’s advice on all of that stuff.
Robin told Pete to take out the ”Why?” in his vocabulary because that wasn’t working. Howard told her to ask Reby if she likes being stared at. Pete said that’s another one of his problems. Howard said Pete has improved 50 percent already. Howard said he’s going to have him up to 100 percent by the next date. Howard said tomorrow he’s going to have a date with Wendy the Retard and then one with Lisa G. He said Lisa loves to talk about herself so that will be easy. Howard said Reby is tough because she’s kind of intimidating. Artie said they’d all be nervous talking to this chick. Artie said that she’s a cool chick with a lot of interests and she’s an easy one to talk to. Artie said that she’s going to play that piano for him and that will be tough to listen to.
Howard let Reby go and she blew Pete a kiss. Artie asked if he could pretend to be on a date with her. Howard asked Pete if he blew a load in his pants after that. Pete said he did not. Howard said tomorrow he’ll have him interview Wendy the Retard and Lisa G and then he’ll be ready. He needs to practice a little bit and he’ll be fine. Howard had him pretending to be on a date with him. Pete wasn’t doing too well with that.
Ralph called in and said that Pete should stock up on porno because he’s never going to get laid. Howard asked Ralph what was up with his voice. Robin said he’s sick. Ralph said he doesn’t feel sick. He said he’s not sure what’s going on.
Ralph said Pete was good on the show yesterday but then he froze up on the date. Pete said he just froze up. Ralph said they have to go out to a bar and drink and not just eat hamburgers. Howard said the girl had to go home and they had to get the date over with.
Howard played more of the audio from the date. Artie said it sounds like some lions eating a wildebeest or something in that clip. Pete was chewing loud and poor Dynah was trying to make conversation with the guy. Pete would answer her but then run out of things to say.
Robin was laughing after hearing that clip. She was barely able to speak. Sal came in and said that maybe they could give him a ear piece and feed him lines. Howard said that won’t work. Sal said that it’s never going to happen for him then.
Howard said they have to find the real Pete and have him talk to the girls. Howard said that he just has to figure out what to talk to the girls about. Howard said they’ll practice tomorrow.
Sal said that Pete has to lie his balls off and bullshit these girls. He said that no girl would be with him if he was the real Sal. Howard agreed with him on that. Howard said Sal’s wife married him and now she’s got the real Sal and she wants him dead. Sal said he had a hot chick come up to him one night and told him that she knew that Benjy was the guy who wrote ”Madagascar.” Sal said that’s the kind of lies you have to tell women. Howard said that Pete could tell them that he was in the army or something.
Gary came in and said he heard that a girl wanted to take Pete home to her house when he did a comedy show with Shuli. Pete said he blew it with that chick too. Gary asked why he didn’t go home with her. Pete said he thought she was playing around. Gary said no one else did. Pete figured he just blew it. Howard said that it’s understandable if he didn’t want to go to a stranger’s house though. Howard said he may have had a point there.
Howard said Yucko can’t get laid either. He said Pete just has to learn how to ask questions and he’ll be fine. Howard asked Pete what he’s going to ask Wendy tomorrow. Pete said he was going to ask her why she’s the way she is. Howard told him that he has to ask other questions and to ask about what it’s like to have a tomato up her ass. Robin said he’s never going to get laid talking like that.
Howard wanted to see Dynah riding the mechanical bull. The Howard TV guys had the video of that a couple of seconds later. Howard said she was enjoying the bull more than Pete. Howard said that he has to stop asking about what music she likes and things like that.